I, the Hellsing leader? You must be kidding me
by Dreamer-in-front-of-the-PC
Summary: Story situated 50 years in the futurebut our present.blame me for bad cronologyThe 14 year old Laura has to restart the Hellsing agency from nothing.Possible crossovers:Alex Rider,ROD,etc.My first story ever pls tell me if I should bother to continue.


**With Laura**

-It's time you go to bed! her mother said.

She was a heroine. Definitely, a heroine. Somehow, she could see herself, like in a 3D ultra-cool- game, with her short brown skirt and a green top (just imagine some kind of Final Fantasy stuff), and her long brown hair arranged in a single ponytail. She smiled and went to find help. Yep, this is what she was supposed to do. That's right.

Wait a moment…he felt deep in her subconscious…this is a dream, right? But her subconscious also knew that she would hate to wake up now.

She looked around. Man, this is what you call beautiful! Rivers of crystal-like water everywhere, blue sky, lazy clouds…paradise! Just like the whole world was covered in diamonds. And yep, she was the hero and she was supposed to go _there_ and ask for help. She smiled again, noticing her impressive height. She probably carried on her back a katana or another "cool" weapon, and her shoes…omg, she almost fainted seeing her shoes- the coolest pair of wellingtons(if that's not the word, blame the internet dictionary) she ever saw! Black, with silver (wait! silver-that's expensive, right?) buckles and…But, well, she was the hero, right?

She went at _her _and asked for help. Laura supposed _she _was like an old wise woman, the kind that gives you tips in video role-playing games.Just that _she_ didn't look old at all._ She_ was covered in a weird white cloak, so she could see only her round glasses, cold icy blue eyes and her very long blond hair. She gave her a scroll. The heroine smiled and went forward on her way. This was just a dream, after all. Nobody in a dream ever asks questions, nobody in a dream ever answers. Fair and equal.

Laura, unconsciously knowing that she was going to wake up in a few seconds, opened the scroll quickly. On it was written a single name, with font Times New Roman, size 26, italics, bold and underlined.

Alucard.

_**Alucard**_

Wait, was that even a name?

And she woke up, discovering with a shiver that she kicked away her blanket while sleeping and, more, she had to woke up in 10 minutes. Plus the geography exam in a few hours.

"Isn't life wonderful" thought Laura sarcastically and went to the bathroom.

The malevolent bathroom mirror continued to persecute her. Far away from the beautiful, angel-like-figure in her dream, this was just her. Her plain face with her plain hair having a plain shade of the plainest brown. Not too long, not too short, always having the "style" to fly exactly in her face on windy days. Ugh. After she washed her face, she put on the rectangular glasses and started the CD-player. "I sure need some encouragement before the test" thought she. It was still 6:40 and very dark outside…

She got a book from the bookcase and began to read, while enjoying some chocolate cookies. Music, chocolate and a good book- what other way to forget about an exam?

After 3 hours and so, she looked at the clock and sighted. Time to go face the "torture".

"If I don't get 100 at this one too, I'm dead" she thought, taking her lucky silver necklace and lucky pencil. If exams could be solved just with that…

She grabbed her backpack in a hurry and opened the door.

First thought: WHAT.THE.HECK.

Second thought: slam the door

Third thought: screamWHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fourth thought: OMG WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fifth thought: it's a prank

Sixth thought: cough from the smell

Seventh thought: I have to get out of here. NOW!!!!!

Because just behind the door, was a troop of ghouls. Armed. Smelly. Discomposing. And _dead_. And…ok u got the picture.

"oknowcalmdowncalmdownWHATTHEHECKnowitsnotthetimetopannickWHATTHEFREKINHECK!"

Eight thought: fast analyzing door blocked/window at the 1st floor

Ninth thought: IGOTTAGETOUTTAHERE!

Tenth thought: oh.no.what.the.heck.they.had.freakin.weapons.

Eleventh thought: I'm.gonna.die….and I don't even know WHY!!!

Bullets started to fire trough the door, heading to Laura.

Just that…they just didn't hit her.

Laura discovered that she closed her eyes. She slowly opened them…there was _someone_ in front of her who took the bullets in her place. Her eyes widened. All she could see thus far was a long, red cape, and a weird red hat, spitted with blood. Her mind froze.

In the next second, the _person_ in front of her started to shoot back. Laura was terrified. She didn't knew much about weapons, in fact she never saw a gun in her life, but…moving so easily after being hit so hard….it was just _unnatural_…

In a few seconds, all the ghouls were gone for good.

Laura was still in shock, her mind not comprehending what just happened.

-Who…who…are…you? why…what…who were…them? what just happened?

The man turned at her. She noticed his red-orange round glasses, his dark hair and… victorian suit? Was she still dreaming? Was this all in her mind? She noticed as his wounds began to heal in split of seconds. Im…impossible….

-My last master used to call me Alucard, he said. She died and her organization, Hellsing, died along with her, 50 years ago. Her name was Integra Windgates Hellsing. And you- said he pointing at her- you have the Hellsing blood as well, so you are my master now. My master, he said he kneeling down sarcastically.

Laura had calmed a bit, although this was way too much for her. Vampires- those monsters that attacked her- the mysterious Integra Hellsing- and the same name as in her dream! She sit down on the bed and asked with a trembling voice:

-Please explain more. And…close the door, please.

She was right. The dead ghouls were not a very pleasant image. Alucard closed the door, closed the curtains as well, because the sun began to shine, and sat on the bed near her.

-I will make it very simple- vampires exist. The Hellsing organization fought against them until 50 years ago, and I, as the vampire of the Hellsing family, am to obey every one with Hellsing blood. When Integra died, she had no heir, so the whole organization vanished…or this is what we thought…he continued looking at her.

Laura tried to avoid looking in his eyes- she, the master of a vampire? But that was…

-Not impossible. Laura widened her eyes. Was he reading her mind? I will explain more, but now we have to get out of here as soon as we can. Make your luggage. You are leaving.

-What? But why? asked the girl, while thinking "He is a vampire for real?!"

-That's just…if you don't want to stay here waiting for other FREAKS to come, he continued ironic. I'm not the only one searching for Integra's heir, and if you think you can deal alone with some ghouls with machine-guns…

-Wait! she exclaimed. Let me just pack some things, ok?

She hurried and emptied the content of her backpack on the floor, then filled it with clothes, her CD-player, and other personal stuff, including her laptop computer. For a whole minute she fought to close the backpack, with Alucard looking amused of her struggle, then she suddenly realized with a thrill- she still had no shoes, toothbrush or coat whatsoever. And to get them she must go out of the room, near the discomposed bodies of what-ever-was-that. Oh no. OH NO!

She heard the entrance door opening, and Alucard said:

-We must go. Now.

-Just a second...!

She couldn't believe she forgot to call her parents. If someone was trying to kill her, then they were in great danger! She picked up the phone and formed her mother's number:

-Yes, it's me. No. Yes. No, look…wait, I have something really important to tell you…! No, listen…!...Laura felt ridiculous. She called her mother to tell her to watch out for her life and her mother argued with her because she wasn't at the exam! She felt how her face turned red. LOOK SOME MAD GUYS WITH MACHINE GUNS TRIED TO KILL ME BECAUSE I'M THE DESCENDANT OF DUNNO-WHO AND YOU GOTTA GO OUT OF THE TOWN…OUT OF THE COUNTRY BECAUSE THEY'LL TRY TO KILL YOU AS WELL!

A cold silence fell for a second. Alucard said: "We have to go _now_"

-And I'm not crazy, you have to call dad as well and I love you too. Bye! said Laura and closed the phone, then Alucard grabbed her arm and teleported, just before the television team entered the room.

**With Alucard**

His new master was…Laura?

Like _she_ would say "OMG what the heck".

A 14 year old girl, not knowing everything about fight.

Or about vampires, at all.

SHE was supposed to reconstruct the mighty Hellsing organization from ruins? This _kid_?

…

First of all, she didn't look at all like Integra. She was obviously 15 cm shorter, her hair and eyes were brown. She wore rectangular glasses, unlike his old master, who preferred the round ones and…well, Integra was…

"Why am I still thinking about her after all these years?" thought Alucard, remembering how Integra always refused to become immortal, like him, instead of dying by a painful disease like pulmonary cancer. "Those cigars…they killed her…" .Even now, he could still remember the smell of her Hendi Winzermans cigars, when she used to call him for an order. "Like Search and destroy, for example", he thought with a grin. His favorite order. Ever.

"If she knew what was going to happen to Hellsing after her death, Integra would have preferred to be a blood-sucker living in the night"

**With Seras**

-Master you're back! exclaimed she as she saw Alucard appearing from the shadows… with a teenage girl? Who was she? The girl looked confused around her, then back at Alucard, fixing her with her brown eyes:

-Ok this is WEIRD. Teleportation? But this is so cool, o…m…g! You can do it whenever you want? Where are we? Then she saw her and added: Uhm…hy, I'm Laura.

-Hi I'm Seras Victoria, said the police woman, then looked with at Alucard puzzled expression. Who was she…?

**With Alucard**

Alucard noticed Seras looking at him, but avoided answering. This girl was practically driving him _insane_(more than usual!). Is omg even a word? For a brief moment, she imagined her giving the order search and destroy like: "OMG! is this really so urgent? why do you even want to kill people? so, are you really a vampire? anyways, want some chocolate cookies? They are DELICIOUS!humiliating silence OH sorry sorry sorry sorry I forgot you can't eat any solid food pls forgive me…hey wait, you really ARE a vampire, right?"

This kid giving the order "search and destroy"? He must be day-dreaming.

**With Laura**

-Ok, so I guess it's okay if I finally get some answers? asked Laura ironic. You are really a vampire? Who are you two? What is Hellsing? How come nobody knows about vampires? and…do you really drink blood? Who sent the zombies after me and why am I supposed to be your master? Where are we now and…looking around thanx for saving me, anyway, and nice to meet you!

-Kid, you sure ask a lot of questions. Yes, I am a vampire, grinned Alucard, showing his vampire teeth. As you also found out, she is Seras Victoria, my vampire servant. We are the only two remaining from the Hellsing staff. Hellsing is the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, created to fight against unnatural beings such as ghouls…or vampires, as well as covering their existence. And yes I really drink blood. Wanna see? asked he irritated making a step in Laura's direction threading.

-Uhm…no…went Laura back a few steps as well. Can you just go on with the other questions? anime sweat drop

-If by "zombies" you wanted to say ghouls, Milenium organization sent them. And you are supposed to be my master because…

-Wait! Seras exclaimed. Means you finally found her? Hellsing's heir?

-Yes. Because, as I said, you have Hellsing blood in your veins. Although Integra Windgates Hellsing was the last of this branch of the family, you are related to her. Now we are in England, at the Hellsing Manor and… 

-Wait! Laura interrupted. As Alucard looked at her irritated, she said: Sorry, I just want to know…who is that blond woman in the painting and why did I dream her last night handing me a message with your name on it?

**With Alucard **

"What she said?! This is impossible!"

But he knew that it wasn't and worse, he knew exactly _why_ it wasn't. He had to go now.

He disappeared in the shadows, wondering if the new so called "master" was going to call him back. Instead, he heard surprised:

-Uhm...good-bye? Wow, nice disappearing stuff!

"Nice?! She just called the evil of the dark shadows _nice_?!" he boiled with anger. "A few more weeks and I will be required to wear a pink suit and cosplay as the Easter bunny!" (me: imagining the unimaginable)

**With Seras and Laura**

-Want to sit down? asked Seras. You can tell me what happened to you and I can respond to your questions, ok? said she answering to Laura's puzzled look.

-Sure! Well, this morning, a few what he called ghouls attacked me and they were very armed and very smelly and very discomposing and very…well…very _dead_ but Alucard saved me and brought me here and last night I had a dream with the woman in the portrait giving me a message with Alucard's name and I don't know absolutely anything about vampires and…

The woman in the portrait? Seras shook her head. When Integra died, they put her portrait near her father's on the wall. This means…she had a dream with Integra? Although she died 50 years ago? What was this?

-…so, can you please tell me what he expects of me to do? What is the Millenium organization? And…uhm…I don't want to be impolite but….do I risk getting bitten by any vampire around here? If I'm being bitten, do I turn into a vampire? All the vampire legends are true? And why Alucard has such a weird name?

Buried under the avalanche of questions, Seras began:

-The Milenium organization is the opposite of Hellsing…

_In the evening… _

-Good morning, Master, police woman, said Alucard appearing from the ceiling, in Laura's back.

Laura started in surprise, then turned her head with a sleepy "Isn't this evening…"

Then she froze looking at Alucard standing on the ceiling. She took a deep breath, then said:

-Ok. It's just me or it's something different with you? thinking pose Uhm…maybe your haircut? Or do you have a new tie?

Seras let out a small chuckle. She was so different! It was all right to let on her shoulders the whole responsibility of Hellsing? At her age…

_Believe in her, policewoman_, said Alucard mentally. _She's lot more than it seems. _

-So, what are your orders, master? he said, still hanging from the ceiling.

-Uhm…guess I will need a room, a toothbrush, dinner, shoes and a new coat but the last two can wait until tomorrow so…yawn sorry I'm so sleepy…well you were all right without a master 50 years, I guess another night won't hurt…yawn and before I forget…rule # 1. you enter my room without my permissionyou die. yawn did I made myself clear?

-Yes, master, said Alucard with a little grin. "Remembers me of Integra. Just a lot more positive thinking. And very irritating."

_In the morning…_

This time, the dream was different. It was very dark and she sat on a chair, on a round platform above everything else, playing card games. Poker? No, probably just another of those Duel Masters or Yugi-Oh style games…but she couldn't see her cards, even though she stared at them for minutes. She had only two cards and the other player a handful. And the opponent was _evil_; she realized looking in his blue eyes, behind his round glasses. She tried to look again at her cards and saw she cut her finger in one of them. Her blood fell on the floor and…

She woke up, terrified, holding the blankets. "Nightmare…just a nightmare…" Laura realized.

Surprised of her new room, she got out of her bed, went to the little bathroom near her room and washed her face and teeth, then returned to change her clothes. The girl chose a pair of blue jeans, combined with a lavender blouse and a long sweater of the same color, like a small dress, who went down her waist. Her hair was more troublesome, like usual, but after a few minutes it was decided- Japanese style, caught in the back of the head with two hair nails. And then…the piece of résistance…the silver necklace she received from her best friend when she turned 14. "I really hope everyone is all right at home now" Laura thought. "But I help them a lot more staying here and making plans how to save the world". She heard a knock in the door.

-Enter, the new Hellsing responded. It was Seras.

-Good morning! I came to announce you that breakfast is ready. Also, Alucard said he wanted to know what you have decided about the Hellsing organization.

-Oh…ok. I come in five minutes, ok?

-Good, said Seras and closed the door.

Laura decided to take a better look at her new room. Almost everything in it was mauve or lavender, including the 19 century-like bed, the soft carpet on the floor with models of flowers and the walls, in a nice shade of very light purple. It was also pretty dark, probably because of the heavy lavender curtains. "Well, I wonder how the mansion looks on the outside…" she thought and opened the old curtains. On the other side of the window, was the face of a teenager boy with blond hair and green eyes, dressed in a white shirt, blue jeans and a school backpack, hanging up-side-down from a hi-quality cable, like in the spy movies, and looking surprised at her.

(reader, please put on some hi-quality headphones now)

-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!! HELP!!! STALKER!!!!!!!!!

**With Seras**

-Who are you? Who sent you? said Seras to the teenager, while immobilizing him after a short fight. The boy didn't answer. I SAID WHO SENT YOU! repeated she after forcing his arm in the typical police procedure.

-Nobody! I was just looking around, ok? I didn't know somebody still lived in this place! Now let me go!

-And do you think I'll believe that st? Black belt level at martial arts? Extensible cable hidden in a yo-yo? Do you really want to lose your arm so much? continued she to force his arm. Who do you work for?

-MI6, and let me go, you freak!

(MI6 is Britain's spy agency, just like FBI in the USA)

Not risking to give him another chance to use his karate skills, Seras tied him on a purple chair.

_Did you hear that master? _

_Yes, and I'm ashamed of myself, while I was not expecting that. Guard him while I talk to Master. _

**With Alucard and Laura**

-You're not gonna kill him, are you? said Laura while drinking her cocoa milk.

-It's your choice, Master. But killing him would be the best option.

-Look…let's talk about this later, ok? Seras said you wanted to see me.

-What are your orders?

Laura sighted and looked at the floor.

-I'm going to reconstruct the Hellsing organization.

-Good.

-But there will be changes. And I mean BIG changes, continued she, trying to avoid looking in his eyes. Yesterday I read all the mission reports from the last century. And some before this. And I found something disturbing…

-I wonder what it is, responded Alucard sarcastically. I really DON'T remember the last few centuries, so please share with me a part of your priceless knowledge…

-Well…uhm…if you don't want to hear…well anyway I didn't know your age! It's not polite to ask people about this! Incredible, you're more sarcastic than me in a bad day! Well, anyway, I find annoying the fact that the Hellsing organization claimed to fight against the undead. Theoretically it's true, but practically…almost 99 of the times when the organization fought, it was against other organizations. Ruled by _humans_. And…it… it just isn't fair to blame everything on vampires! Ok, I know you're kind of evil, but even if I wasn't your master, you wouldn't kill me now, for example…pause riiight?

-evil smileDon't count on it.

-Oookay…got it. But tell me if I'm wrong…normal vampires, like you, I mean not created by Millennium or so, aren't disadvantaged by these organizations? Won't some of them…uhmm…want to…help us?

-laugh HELP? Do you think they would join the "Royal Order of Protestant Knights" just because…

-Oh, but it won't be the "Royal Order of Protestant Knights" anymore. And it won't have coughstupidcough mottos like "We are on a mission from God". I'm what it's called an atheist, I don't believe in God. Even though I say OMG all the time. I think it might just work. So what do you think?

-Whatever you wish, my master, said Alucard ironically, as usual, and disappeared in the dark.

"Oh man. He disappeared _again_. He's so IRRITATING! Guess I should just go and see what happened with that boy. I hope Seras wasn't to tough with him. Although, if I think better, if Alucard found him in her place…I.don't.even.want.to.think.about.it."

Laura let the cup on the table and headed to her room.

-So Seras, why did you found out? asked she, the both standing in front of the door.

-Working for MI6. Alex Rider, 15 years old. Logic, he thinks we're the bad guys. I suspect it's because our fights with Millennium we had recently.

-Good job. I'll see what I can find more. If you want, you can go.

-But…

-Ok, I know I'm basically defenseless, but how hard could it be? He's tied on a chair and if I have trouble I'll just scream, ok? Alucard can get here in a fraction of second, so don't worry!

Suspecting that she will regret this, Seras left. Laura opened the door and entered the room (which was actually hers, remember?).

-Uhm…hi? Sorry about tying you on a chair stuff, but you're a spy and this is a very secret organization, got it? And in case you didn't notice, we're the good guys.

-Yeah sure. How stupid do you think I am? Alex said. He couldn't believe that he was captured so easily!

-On a scale from 0 to 10? 11, sincerely. Because you should have realized- if we really the bad guys, then I would have just told you the secret evil plan to destroy the world, then kill you with a gun. Or torture you, depending on how psycho do you think I am.

-News for you: your vampire boss is a psycho killer.

-My vampire boss…wait a moment, I'm his boss! And in case it's the killing people without reason stuff, he's a vampire. How do you expect to survive? Anyway, I'm working on a way to solve things.

-And why are you telling me this?

-Because you won't get away anyway, 007. And now I must really think what to do with you or Alucard will persuade me to kill you!

-Guess letting me go is out of discussion, right?

-Unfortunately, yes. We can't risk other people to know what we are and what are we doing. But why I don't understand is why are you doing this? I mean, spying. Isn't bungee jumping thrilling enough? You really risk your life here.

Alex knew she was right. But it could also have been a way to get information from him. Laura saw his face and exclaimed:

-OH come on you're thinking I planned this all along? I'm not that smart!

-Well, just…

-Look serious face If I really wanted to get information from you, then I would call Alucard. He can get all he wants from a person's memory if he wants to.

-Then, why he can't get all the information he wants, then let me go?

-Oh, ok. Sure. But that would kill you, btw.

Alex was unsure. "Is this that weird syndrome of liking the ones who captured you? I mean, now I do not hate her or so. And it must be real, what she said, because, from what the spy satellite discovered, that vampire Alucard could kill me in an instant."

-Well, I was basically obliged to accept the job. My uncle was also a spy. And since he died, I had to take his place. Or something like this.

-Better in my case. A day ago I discovered I'm the Hellsing heir while being attacked by ghouls. Now I'm supposed to reconstruct the whole organization from nothing. "Hey, is this the syndrome that makes criminals like the ones they captured? But I'm not a criminal, am I?" (note- when I say "like" it means like friendship, not love!). Anyway, uhm…hey I kinda have an idea!!!….Alucard!

What? She said she won't let that vampire to kill him!!! Oh no.

This time, Alucard appeared from the floor.

-So, you changed your mind, master?

-So and so. I just realized…you are telepathic, right? This means…you can tell when somebody is lying?

-Of course, who do you think I am?

-Ok, then, Alex, 1 more question: considering we can't let you go back to MI6, would you agree to work for Hellsing as a spy? If you say no, I'm afraid you're a prisoner until I find a way to erase your memory…without killing you. And yes, Alucard, I noticed you disagree with my orders. But that's it.

"Wait. Is she trying to hire me right now? But anyway, if _she_'s the boss around here, it will be a lot better than with Mr. Blunt. She actually gave me a _choice_. Not that I would call erasing my memory a choice, but still…and it's not a terrorist organization or so. Except for the creepy vampire." _Scared, kid?_ sent Alucard a telepathic message."WTF are you doing in my mind?!"

-If this is the way you hire people, I don't want to see how they get fired, responded Alex. Guess I don't have other choice.

-Welcome to the club, smiled Laura. Let's go find you a room.


End file.
